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It’s hard to admit if you have been the victim of sexual violence or dating violence. I know – it took me years to talk about it. But, it can also be very comforting to know you aren’t alone. This is a safe place for you to share. Feel free to write here anything that allows you to begin the journey to healing or encourage others. Posts that are too graphic, give names or contain bad words will be edited.
~Tara
Founder UNBREAK ME

“I was molested by my aunt’s friend. I never told anybody. Then my mom’s friend’s daughter, my sister, was raped and if I just now say something I feel they will think it is a lie or something for attention. I dont know what to do…”

Hello! I am so sorry that you have had to carry around that burden for all of this time. I know that it is scary to tell your family what happened to you, but it is so important that you do. This is the first step to finding healing and moving on with your life. If you feel you can’t tell your family at this point, find another trusted adult, and ask them to help you find the best way to talk to your mom. It is vital, not only for your own well-being, but for the future protection of others from that person, as well. You have already been so brave to make this first step–I know you have the strength to take this next step. Even if it is difficult for your mom to accept what happened right away, it is important that she is given the chance to help you walk through this process. Please, let us know if we can help you through this at any other point in your process. You can email us at help@unbreakme.com. ~Tara C.

I was raped at age 5. By my Dad. I want to get out of this body, it hurts me to see myself this way.

To the above poster – I am so sorry. No child deserves to be raped and especially by their own father. Your pain is so very real and you have nothing to be ashamed of in admitting this happened to you. Thank you for your tremendous courage to even type those words. And now I’m going to ask you to take another step and talk to someone trusted like a school counselor, family member or other trusted adult. It may not seem like it right now, but the hurt you feel is possible to walk through and even heal. If you need help finding someone to talk to then please do the “share your story” again and write back with your email. It will NOT post publicly. Although a terrible thing happened to you, you are not any less valuable or beautiful or significant. Please reply back and let me know that you will talk to someone trusted. There is so much hope for you and I want you to know that you are not alone! ~Tara

My story is the reason I’m scared to show people the real me. I’m not comfortable wearing what I want because I’m scared it might happen again. Sooooo the reason I’m the way I am now is because I was raped when I was 9 and it didn’t end till I was 11. I’m 14 now so it wasn’t long ago. When I was about 10, that’s the year I realized what was happening. I didn’t know what to do or who to tell so I kept it to myself and never told anyone. I even tried to make an excuse for when people asked why I always wear a sweater. Well my answer to them was because I got cold very easily. At this point I just wanna let it out. I was raped by my mom’s boyfriend. I cried and cried till I found a way to hide it and stop. I was always scared of what people will say or do. I was scared they would tell my mom and my family and I didn’t want to live my life knowing I was raped by a man my mom trusted. I always told myself that everything is gonna be ok just don’t say a thing to NO ONE even if they asked what was wrong. I’m a happy person – all I wanted to do was smile and live my dream of being a model but I felt like I couldn’t because of what happened. I felt insecure about myself. UNBREAK ME taught me that I shouldn’t be afraid to share my story so here I am telling it and I realized that I wanna get help and tell people because it wasn’t my fault. I hope I can share my story with other people because when you’ve been a victim of any of this then it’s better to share then keep it all in knowing you have something to say. Thank you.

To the above poster – Wow!!!! You inspire me!!! I’m so glad that you learned from UNBREAK ME not to be afraid to share your story because it was NOT your fault. Please find someone trusted like a school counselor or adult to talk to about what happened to you. You’ve taken a great first step by hearing the truth and then believing it. Now talking to someone will be easier – maybe not easy – but definitely easier. I know your story could help so many girls and I encourage you to take the steps necessary to heal so you can share it one day with others. You are an amazing, beautiful girl and never give up on your dreams! ~Tara

When I was 7 years old my mom’s God brother – a man who my mom trusted with her life – started to touch me and i didn’t think twice about it. I mean I was 7 and he would tell me it’s our secret so no one else can know or everyone will be mad at you. After a couple years, he went to jail for drugs and for stealing so that kept him away for a little while, but not forever. Once he got out of jail, I was about 10 so i didn’t tell anybody at all. I still haven’t but he would try to put his fingers inside of me and at 10, I knew it was wrong and told him no but he didn’t listen or didn’t like the word no cause after that he would rub his penis on me but not in me. One day he lied to my mom so she cut him off and I haven’t seen him since I was 12 and I’m 14 now. I have tried many times to kill myself and even went into a mental hospital for my safety. And to this day I haven’t told anyone and I’m still afraid to. The Broken One

To the Broken One – You are so incredibly brave for sharing your story with me. I know how hard it is to admit that something happened to you. I’m so sorry you were violated in that way and it made you feel so worthless and hurt that you would try to take your own life. You are so valuable and significant and have an amazing future in front of you. You do need to talk with someone trusted who can help you walk through your hurt, someone you can ask to “please help UNBREAK ME.” That help exists and if you can’t find it, please respond back or email us at help@unbreakme.com. Please do not let this experience end your life because just like you heard in the assembly, you can heal from this and find hope. ~Tara

When I was in elementary school, my older cousin started to touch me inappropriately. I felt horrible. I felt alone like it was my fault. Finally I decided to talk to my mom. I explained what was going on and she said it was my fault for hugging him all the time, but he was family and you hug family. I was so confused for a long time. I was starting to believe that it was my fault. I felt useless so when I went over to my dads house the day before school I told him what was going on. He started to cry and said I can’t belive this happened again. From that moment, I found out it happened to me twice before. I was hurt and I felt sad and worthless. Weeks went by and I asked my dad to take me to report him. After my cousins arrest, I felt better. It took a long time to over come the sadness and to forgive but I felt myself getting stronger. I picked myself up even though my family tore apart. I was finally me again.

To the above poster, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so glad that you have begun to see that there is hope after walking through the pain of abuse. And that it is not your fault! You were so brave to report the abuse and definitely made the right choice. I hope other girls will be inspired by your story and that you continue to be strong. You have a very successful future in front of you and perhaps you can use your story to help others! ~Tara

At the age of 17 I was raped. I kept it a secret for almost 2 years now until finally I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Just remembering myself being thrown everywhere trying to run away, my head being banged on the wall so fast I couldn’t even think right. It’s like I can’t be alone anymore because remembering the thought of pressure on your arms of not being able to move, it still haunts me to this day. I cry myself to sleep at times when I’m alone. It sucks because now I can’t even let anyone touch me because then I will pull away quick. I don’t trust anyone. I don’t think anyone could ever make me feel safe again. I need help, but I don’t want to seem crazy. Its hard to admit that I was a victim of rape.

To the above poster – First of all, let me just say that you have taken a huge step posting your story here. Thank you so much for being brave enough to reach out in this way. In your situation, it is absolutely necessary for your own sake to find someone you can trust enough to tell your story and how you are currently feeling. If you don’t feel you have anyone in your life you can trust with this piece of your story, please find a counselor as soon as possible. Holding in something of this magnitude will eat you alive. There is so much freedom and hope in being able to have someone help you carry this burden–this is absolutely not something you should have to carry alone anymore. I know talking about it for the first time is so scary, but it WILL help. No one who hears your story would EVER think you seemed crazy. You have suffered through a terrible trauma, and you are so incredibly strong for making it this far. You have nothing for which you should feel ashamed. Please, for your own well-being, find someone with whom you can share this. And if you don’t know who to talk to, you can email us at help@unbreakme.com. ~Tara

If you are the poster who asked me not to post your story of being molested by your brother, then please read this. What is happening to you and your cousin is very wrong and painful. Please tell someone trusted immediately. I understand that this is so hard because it is family, but please know it will only be worse for you if you don’t tell. What he is doing to you and others has to stop. Please have the courage to talk to a trusted adult immediately. And please post back and let me know how you are doing. ~Tara

When I was younger, I lived with my 3 step-cousins – two were older and male, one was younger and female. The older male cousins would always sneak into my room in the middle of the night. They would wake me up and tell me to play a game with them. The game was called lifeguard. The way our “game” worked was that I would strip down to my underwear and hide in between the bed and the wall and pretend I was drowning. The boys would come and pick me up and put me on the bed, get on top of me and start kissing me like they were trying to give me CPR. Sometimes that is as far as they would go, but most of the time they would pull my underwear off and tell me to open my legs and they would do whatever they thought of. They would also play hide and seek with me, but would always make me hide with them. And while we were hiding they would make me do things to them. And finally I told my mom what happened and she made us move. A couple years later, my freshman year of High School, I was in a relationship with a boy who I thought was a good guy. I found out he did drugs and had been arrested multiple times for possession of drugs. I was 14 at the time. When I was with him he would always be high and would say hurtful things to me like “You are so ugly, you should kill yourself, you would be doing all of us a favor” and other hurtful stuff. He cheated on me so we broke up and a week later I was in another relationship with another guy. This time I was with him for two years and in those two years, I was raped, molested and forced to give oral sex. I still have not told my parents that I was raped and molested by him. Dealing with all the burden and guilt has changed my life. I am suicidal. I have been in and out of multiple relationships, giving myself to guys. And I have really bad depression and anxiety. I also occasionally use drugs to try to get things off of my mind. Not telling anyone my story has effected me in a very negative way. And if you are reading this and have not told your story, I hope this inspires you to speak out.

To the above poster – Please know that you are a beautiful girl and didn’t deserve to be abused in any way. You need to find a trusted adult that can help you find a counselor to speak to so you can find some healing for the pain you have been through in your life. Please know that your life can be better and you can get through this. Drugs, relationships, giving yourself to guys – none of that will heal the pain and make you feel better. When you share your story and let someone help you, you will find positive ways to cope and work through all of this until you realize this doesn’t have to define your life. You are worth getting help. Please let me know how you are doing by posting again. ~Tara

My stepfather was an alcoholic. He was always asking me if he could give me massages and I would say yes because if I said no than he would get mad. One night he took me into my mom’s and his bedroom and lay me down on the ground kissing my neck and he was trying to kiss me on my lips but I wouldn’t let him. So he got upset and said “why, didn’t you want to experience sex?” and then he threaten me not to tell my parents about it. Eventually, I did tell my mom and she called the police on him once I told her. One night at the apartment we were staying at for a while I finally open up to my mom about the night that her husband took me into their bedroom. She kept telling me that he was denying it and that I was making it all up. But eventually he told my mom that I was telling the truth the whole time. He is sober now and is trying to do things right. And now we moved back in with him and trying to start out everything like it never happened.

To the above poster – I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to live in the same house as this man. Even if he says he has changed, it would still be very hard to see him everyday. Please find a counselor that can help you talk to your mom about how difficult this is for you. She needs to know that this is not good for you – tell her honestly how it makes you feel. If he tries anything again, please tell someone immediately. You deserve to be treated with respect and if anything inappropriate happens let a trusted adult know right away. ~Tara

When I was about three, I saw my dad physically abuse my mom, which has stuck with me all this time. When I was just going to 2nd grade my mom and I moved to Dallas because she met a man. He later became her husband, and well he started sexually abusing me when we first moved together all the way to when my teacher overheard a conversation I was having with my friend in 6th grade. I never told my mom because I was scared of what she might think of me, and I didn’t want to hurt her. I’m so thankful for the teacher’s help. If it wasn’t for her I would probably still be suffering to this day. I had psychological help for 1 and a half years, but sometimes memories come back. I wish they didn’t, but it’s so very hard to not remember. There’s always something that triggers those memories. But I know that it won’t always be that way, and I will be so very happy with myself.

To the above poster – I am so glad that your teacher helped you get away from that abuse. Over time the pain of the memories can decrease but if you find that you still need help dealing with them, please talk to a trusted adult. You will get through this and in time be able to use your story to help other girls. ~Tara

When I was younger my cousins did things to me. I felt like it was all my fault. I felt dumb for letting it happened but I was only 5! I didn’t tell my parents because I was scared they would blame me. I was scared that my family members would hate me. I was so scared but then we moved far away and I thought I was free but when I was 8 my uncle did things to me. I felt so dirty. I hated myself. I thought it was my fault. I kept quiet. I was to ashamed to say anything. He never bothered me but I went to a sleep over at my cousins house and he was there too. When I woke up he had his hand inside my underwear. I stared to move and he stopped. I was scared out of my mind. I got up and locked myself in the bathroom. I went home the next day feeling worthless. This year I stared having flashbacks and I finally told my parents. My mom called the cops and they talked to my uncle. He said I was crazy that I had sexual problems and that I was sick and needed help! The cops didn’t do anything. They said they couldn’t do anything. I told my friends too and they said that I was using this as a excuse to why I had bad grades. They told me I was lying because I didn’t act like a person that has been raped. I’ve felt so alone with nobody to talk to. Nobody who understands. I’ve been to counselors but it hasn’t helped. Whenever I talk about this, I just want to cry but I want to say thank you for coming to my school. I was to0 scared to talk to you today but I think what your doing is great and I hope that just like you, I’m able to help girls.

To the above poster -Wow you are so brave. I’m sorry people haven’t believed you or made you feel like you no one understands. I hope you will find another counselor that you can connect with so that you can talk through all that has happened to you. Please find someone trusted. It may be hard at first to talk about it but you will find hope and freedom. ~Tara

You came to my school today and I was to scared to talk about it but my story is the same as Miss Jasmine’s story. It hurts talking about it still and I just wanted to say thank you for coming to my high school

To the above poster – Thank you for taking the first step to sharing your story. Just like Miss Jasmine said, it was really hard at first to talk about it but then she found freedom and hope. Please find someone trusted to talk to – a school counselor, family member or youth worker. If you need to write out your story here first, then please come back and do so. But please don’t live in silence. ~Tara

When I was 8, I would always stay the night at my grandma’s house with all of my cousins. One night I stayed in the back house and we watched movies. I was sleep and I could feel my cousin touching me when I woke up. His belt was unbuckled and my pants were unzipped and I knew what had happened but I didn’t want to tell any one because my mom would probably be very strict on me and look at me different. Then years went by and my cousin has 2 girls and one boy. Well his oldest daughter told her mom the she was being touched by her dad which is my cousin (she is 8) and her mom called the police. My cousin in currently in prison for that. My family doesn’t believe it and they don’t believe the little girl but I want to tell them what happened to me. I’m scared and I carry that around me everywhere. I’m insecure and I always put my self in situations that I don’t need to be in. I had sex with my boyfriend, now ex boyfriend and he left me after 2 months. I cry every night because I’m just so insecure. I’ve been raped and no one knows and I let my ex boyfriend emotionally abuse me.

To the above poster – Please find a trusted adult and share your story with them and tell your mom. I know it may seem really hard to tell someone, but it is the only way to begin to work through the insecurity you feel right now. If you don’t deal with what happened to you, then you may continue to have abusive relationships in the future. Like you heard in Miss Jasmine’s story – when you finally tell, there’s a freedom that comes with knowing that you don’t have to live with that shame and guilt any longer. Your bravery may also inspire your little cousin. Please find someone to talk to as soon as possible. ~Tara

One day I went to a party with my cousin and we were having fun and everything but then something started happening to me. I started to feel really sick and everything was dizzy. Next thing I know I’m laying down somewhere and a guy is on top of me taking advantage of me. I couldn’t see his face – everything was dark and I hardly remember anything. A couple days later I saw my cousin again and he said what happen to me that night. I told him all I remembered and after I told him he spent everyday looking to find out who that guy was but he could never find him. The older I got I would get in abusive relationships, and now I’m 17 and I have a boyfriend we been together for a year and 5 months. I believe he’s the one and I really do love him but the bad part is that with what happen to me that night and all the abusive relationships I been in I’m treating my boyfriend wrong. I’m lying to him and keeping stuff from him. I don’t wanna hurt my boyfriend anymore but it’s hard when all I have been in is abusive relationships. I’m becoming those people who hurt me and I don’t wanna be that anymore, please help me. My boyfriend and my cousin are the only two people that know what happen to me that night. It was so hard to tell my boyfriend but some how I manage to tell him.

To the above poster – It can be hard to have healthy relationships when all you’ve known is unhealthy relationships. I hope you will talk to a trusted adult, school counselor or family member who can help you find a professional counselor to speak with about your past. It can be hard to trust someone again after you have been violated and as a result many times, you will do whatever you feel is necessary to protect yourself even if it means lying. That doesn’t make it right and it won’t make for healthy relationships, but once you understand that it is connected to your past, then you can deal with it. I hope you will find someone to talk to that can help you heal from the past hurt and help you have healthy relationships now. ~Tara

When I was 7 years old, I was sexually abused by my half-brother. We were hanging out at my dad’s house and he made me believe he was my big brother but really I am 2 months older than he is. One day he was playing video games and I was playing with my brat doll and then he said that I am not his sister just completely out of the blue, and I don’t know why but I believed him. So he came to me and kissed me. I pushed him away and said gross. Then he grabbed me and threw me to the ground and pinned me down and when I tried to get up he hit me. He did what he wanted. For years this continued until my mother decided that my father no longer had the weekends so I haven’t really seen my brother since then but the thing is I wanted to. I wanted to be around him all the time even though he would hurt me I loved him and even now I still miss him. But because of my brother, I let guys take advantage of me. I allow them to do as the please as long as they stay with me. I’ve been raped countless time by complete strangers and haven’t told a soul. This is my first confession ever.

To the above poster – First, thank you for sharing your story with me. I know that wasn’t easy for you in any way. You are in a very painful place of letting guys take advantage of you. Please know this isn’t healthy, it’s not real love and most of all, it’s not helping you. Please, please, please talk to a counselor or trusted adult or family member. You need help working through all that has happened and that isn’t found in giving yourself to more guys. That will only continue the pain, not heal it. Talking to someone may seem really hard at first, but you will find that there is so much you can gain by dealing with the pain and working through it. Please be brave and help yourself. You are so valuable and you don’t deserve to be abused or raped anymore. ~Tara

I was sexual abused by my uncle I didn’t tell nobody then he was murdered and I blamed myself for his death cause I could have gotten him locked up and that really broke my heart. I thought it was all over after he died then these boys at my school tried to rape me. I said no but they still pulled my pants down, raised my shirt up, started kissing my body and touching me. Then I said I would snitch and then they stopped. Today we were riding the bus and they were bragging about it.

To the above poster – I’m so sorry that you felt responsible and blamed yourself for your uncle’s death. You are definitely not to blame in any way. I am concerned about these boys trying to take advantage of you and bragging about it. Please talk to your family, your school counselor or a teacher right away. They need to be stopped from talking about what they did and also from potentially doing it again. Although it may seem hard to talk to someone, you need to protect yourself! ~Tara

My dad sexually and verbally abused me. He would pin me to the bed and touch me. I was 5, but I knew where my n-no squares were. He made me do things I didn’t want to. He took my trust with guys away. He would punch me in the back and push me around. I am 16 now, and my dad is dead. And I never got to tell him I forgave him. This year my friends wanted to know why I won’t let people in. And they found out why today. Sharing my story just makes me feel free. After all those years, I felt ugly and not wanted, but now I feel here.

To the above poster – I’m so sorry for the abuse you went through and for feeling ugly and not wanted. I hope today you were able to really grasp the fact that you are valuable and unique and significant. I’m so glad you could open up about your story and begin the first steps toward feeling free. I hope you will speak to someone trusted – a counselor, teacher, family member or youth worker. It’s hard to learn to trust again, but it is possible with the right help. I hope you’ll continue on your journey of finding hope. ~Tara

Okay so I was talking to this guy and we were the best of friends when one day he started asking for pictures and said that if I didn’t send them that he would share a fake picture of me and send it around the school. This went on for several days until I gave in. Eventually I sent 3 pictures. He said that he loved them and he would even look at them while he was in class. I was so scared. About a week after I sent them he quit talking to me and whenever I try to talk to him he says that he doesn’t wanna talk. We haven’t talked or hung out since.

To the above poster – Thank you for sharing your story because it highlights the importance of protecting yourself from guys that just want to get something from you. If this happens again, immediately show the request to your parents or a trusted teacher or school counselor. It is wrong AND illegal to demand those pictures from you especially when it includes a threat. Also, I hope you will find a trusted counselor or family member to talk about this. And please in the future do not give in to these demands and remember Be Firm and Expect Respect! ~Tara

“I was once in this relationship with this guy and all he did was make me feel bad about myself. I allowed him to do things to me that I thought was okay because he always apologized for his mistakes. Until one day I had stayed out late with one of my friends and he accused me of being out late with a guy. Calling me all types of ugly b*%*s and I was a hoe and that nobody was gone love me like he loved me. I felt so low and bad about myself so I gave in. I didn’t want him to leave me so I made things better in my eyes but all it was, was him trying to beat me up verbally. In the beginning it was more verbally then physical until one day I tried breaking up with him. So he grabbed me by my neck and told me I wasn’t going anywhere and I was gonna be with him. I was scared. I was frighten. I didn’t know who to go to because they all would’ve took it as a joke because he acts different around my family. So I stayed. I was lost and confused. Only thing I wanted was to hang with friends. It even got to the point where he didn’t want me around my family as much. I became distanced and I became his shadow. I had to get away but didn’t know how.”

To the above poster – if you have not ended this relationship, then please get out now. This guy is not respecting you and does not know what a healthy relationship looks like. Please remember you are the diamond, not the gum and you need to treat yourself accordingly. Please find someone trusted to share your story with and they can help you end the relationship. It may be hard at first but even if no one else understands, you have to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself. And this guy clearly is not interested in doing that! ~Tara

“This all happened when I was just five years old. The first time it happened was the day before I turned 5. So that’s kind of the reason why I do not like odd numbers. My birthday is September 14, so this happened the 13th. It took me 9 years to say something about it to m parents. But, when I told them, I thought I was going to finally feel better. But I didn’t, maybe the reason because they didn’t put as much importance into it. They only put importance into it for about a week, but it was only because they thought I was lying. Ya’ll may ask why. This is because they had a hard time believing that such close friends could have done this to me. So they communicated themselves with my family back at my hometown. The grandma had said, “No wonder she would always cry when I tried to bathe her and try to cover up her areas and just be by herself crying everyday.” After that my parents believed me. Little did they know that it wasn’t just one or two but three guys that raped me. But I only told them about two! Why not about the other guy? Well, I was so scared, because the third guy turned out to be my mom’s own uncle, and he had died and I was scared to say anything. Just because I had the feeling that he would come and haunt me or do something to me while I was anywhere alone. And even if I said something nobody would’ve definitely believed me. Everyone, would’ve just thought that I wanted attention or for them to feel bad for me. So I stayed quiet. That’s when I began to come home everyday and just sit in my bed and cry my soul out. This all goes back into 5th grade when I began stabbing myself with mechanical pencils. All that lead to grabbing a blade and start cutting myself. Can you imagine that? An 11 year old in the 5th grade cutting herself. Why? Because she already feels ashamed, dirty, ugly, and used. So I found comfort in the blades. To this day I still cut myself, because pain helps me. It’s a weird thing to say. Like how can self-harm heal self-harm? It’s a complicated concept to even understand my own self. All I know is that I can’t move past that, I am currently in a relationship with such a gentleman. But I randomly get sad and I wish to let him know what it is that I have and been going through for the past 11 years, but I don’t find the courage to. I can’t even go past saying ” I was 5 years old” when trying to talk about it with Tara today or anyone, without bawling hysterically making it difficult to even say another word. I want to move past this, I need help. I want to heal, not just to better myself but to be ready for the future and to just finally stop thinking the worst of myself. Mostly, to just find another alternative, instead of cutting myself. I have too many scars, meaning too many excuses for my parents when they ask how I get all these cuts. All my scars aren’t pretty, and honestly; it would be such a great thing to say  “I cut myself for 5 consecutive years, but now I am a total new person that enjoys living and feels great about myself. Instead of trying to kill myself every time I get the opportunity.” I have tried everything from diaries to talking to my parents, but that just seems to just keep pilling up more and more pain. I am willing to try to talk about my experience to somebody, because I don’t want to live with this pain and this unfinished secret that I’ve carried for 11 years.

(See my note below the next story)

“I have a dirty story and when the UNBREAK ME people came to my school it showed me that the way I was dealing with my pain wasn’t good at all. My story started with this guy I was dating for a year and 3 months and I was only 14 at the time. I thought he was perfect and one of a kind but in reality he only acted like that cause he was around my family but when he was around me by himself he was a whole different person. Someone I didn’t know any more.  One day we were at his house and he kept trying to make me do things I didn’t want to do. I kept telling him no and he wouldn’t listen to me until I got tired of it and tried walking out his house. When I got up, he got up too and I told him I wasn’t able to be with him any more. He became really mad that he abused me and pulled me by my hair all the way to his room and started taking off my clothes and raped me. I cried telling him to stop , that it wasn’t right what he was doing , to leave me alone but he didn’t. He said he wasn’t gonna stop until he felt like it and that I was gonna have to take it even if I liked it or not . Ever since that day I got scared of telling someone what he did to me because he told me if I ever did tell someone that he was gonna kill me.  After like 3 weeks every morning felt like death, I called one of my friends and asked if they could buy me a pregnancy test. I waited a couple of hours until I decided to take it . I decided to take the test around 11:30 pm when everyone was a sleep and when I took it I waited until it was time for me to look at it. Once I looked at it I broke down crying because it had the plus sign on it. I started thinking to myself how was I gonna do it, how was I gonna tell him, how was I gonna raise a child and give it everything it needs? I also thought that if it was right for me to take a life or something I will regret it. I told myself that I was a mess and that I was a  pregnant adolescent then I looked down at my tummy and told myself I was gonna keep the baby but I was gonna keep it a secret. As the months went by I felt the baby’s life in my stomach and when I was 5 months, I found out I was having a baby boy. I decided that I had to tell the baby’s father so I called him and told him to come by the house cause I needed to talk to him. He did and when he got there no one was home –  just me and him. I told him I had something to tell him and I started crying and finally I told him I was pregnant and I was planning on keeping the baby even if he helped me or didn’t. Once I told him, I showed him my tummy and he touched it and got up and said ok. When I was walking him to the door he pushed me agaisnt the door and told me how can I let it happen, that it wasn’t him, that I was a whore and he said he didn’t want nothing to do with the baby. I told him to leave and he got mad and kicked me in my stomach. I fell to the floor and watched the blood fall and I knew then I was gonna lose my baby – that I had to call 911 fast. When I was crawling to get the phone he grabbed me and kicked me again and I guess I blacked out. I woke up in the hospital and the first thing I asked was if my baby was ok. By the faces they made I knew he wasn’t and I started to cry.  Ever since then I blamed myself for everything that happened and wished sometimes the baby was here and to deal with the pain I started cutting and never told anyone about that day.  Two  years later after I turned 16, I found out I had an std by him and it put more weight on me. Till this day I still think about what would have happened if I didn’t tell him and I still blame myself. Now I’m 16 and I know that the baby will have a part of my life even if he isn’t here. This is my story.”

To the above two posters – I know you shared your story with me in person but reading it again here, I am crying. I cry because your pain is so real and so deep. You deserved none of this and you were not to blame. You’re beautiful girls and should have been valued and treasured. I cry because knowing girls like you sit in UNBREAK ME assemblies sometimes overwhelms me – that you exist and that you are so brave to share your story. I cry because my story allowed me to come to you, at your school and share hope with you. That such good could come from my pain motivates me to do more assemblies. I cry because I know there is healing for the pain of rape and I want you to know that too. Please work with a trusted counselor to walk through all the emotions and hurt so it does not define your life or your choices, but rather brings you to a place of wholeness. I promise that cutting will never alleviate the pain. One thing I have learned and you reminded me of this, out of the pain and darkness of rape, it is possible to take that and watch it bring hope and light to others. So I cry because there is pain and yet there is hope. There is darkness but there is light. You’ve made some brave first steps toward hope in sharing your story. Don’t give up now. Finally, I’m crying for the picture of a beautiful, successful, whole young woman that I know you can be – I can see it and I hope you can too. ~Tara

“My story started a few weeks ago. This guy started out as a friend and was always nice to me. Then he began to become very close to me. I honestly dont know what to do. He does what he calls tickling me everyday. I was tolerating it for a while, but now its just plain bugging me. I have tried to tell him stop, but he just wont. I heard about your website in one of your meetings, you know at the school. I just came to this website for your help. Please help me.”

Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable needs to stop. If you have told the person to stop touching you and they still continue, then please enlist the help of a parent or other trusted adult. And because this person does not respect your personal space and requests, that does not qualify the person to be your friend. Find someone who treats you how you want to be treated! ~Tara

“I am in this relationship with this boy and it is not good. Everytime he gets mad he takes it out on me for no reason at all. He pressures me into doing things with him which are sexual and when I say no ( which is all the time) he hits me. We have been dating for almost 3 months and everyday our relationship gets worse, I told my friends and they said to talk to the counselor but I am too scared. He even forced his self into my house because he thought I was cheating on him and beat till i couldn’t fight anymore. I don’t know what to do I need help. Everytime I try to end it with him he threatens to kill me and his self if I do ,so I can’t do it. I don’t know what to do.”

To the above poster – you need help immediately to protect yourself. No one has the right to treat you like that and it is NOT love. Please find someone trusted – a school counselor, family member or teacher – and tell them the truth. They will help you take the necessary steps to insure that you are safe. You are extremely valuable and right now you need to stand up for yourself and make a choice that you will not live with that kind of abuse. I know it’s hard and scary, but for the sake of your future, you must get help! ~Tara

“I just read that my teenaged “relationship” with a grown man was abuse. I have struggled with this for decades. He pressured me into having sex by calling me a tease, sometimes in public. I thought I deserved every horrible thing he did to me because I was in a relationship with him. But, this site made me see that he abused my lack of knowledge about sex and relationships to get me to do what he wanted. I am still recovering, but I feel a little less like a bad about myself.”

“I was about 3 years old and my parents had divorced. I had a hard life for years with my mother, we struggled a lot. Until one day, my cousin who was about 27 moved in with us. I was about 8 years old when I first got sexually assaulted. When it was happening, I knew that it was wrong, I knew it needed to stop. I screamed and cried, and I just felt like I was going through hell. I felt like I was gonna die.. and in that age, it was too early to know what dying was. At the end, he told me if I was to ever tell ANYONE, he would kill me. A year later, my mom got remarried, but my cousin was still living with us… I was about 10 years old and he still touched me and did things to me. Until one day, my step father caught him in the act. I was so relieved. For two years I kept my mouth shut until it was finally over. I’m 17 now and it doesn’t bother me. I moved on with my life.”

“When I was little even before elementary, I was being raped by my grandfather. There would be many different ways he would try to, he would try to be sweet & tell me its a secret, he would give me money so I wont say a word, he would make me take sleeping pills, but I wouldn’t I would put them under my tongue till he left. He wouldn’t stop. I was young & didn’t know how to tell, but then I did, I finally told someone, But I seemed to tell them for no reason because no one would believe. Except my big brother he knew something was up but he didn’t really help in anyway. I thought is was never ganna end, I thought I was trapped. I was scared when they made me sleep over his house, no one knew what I was going through & yet today no one believes. My grandfather then past away in 2005. I dont know how to say this, but I was kinda relieved & happy that it ended. I was happy I was finally free. I mean, its sad that hes gone. But I know god toke him away for a reason, and that reason was that I didn’t deserve any of that. Im happy now, im a Honors Student & i’m getting successful little by little. Thanks to UNBREAKME, I got to release stress.”

To the above poster – Thank you for sharing your story. I hope during the message of UNBREAK ME, you heard a message of hope and that abuse does not need to define your life. If you need further help, please contact your school counselor or go to www.rainn.org for online help. ~Tara

I’m in a relationship right now, It’s been a month so far and we like each other, a lot. But lately we have been arguing a lot and getting a little aggressive. Sometimes just in the playful way. But I don’t want to lose our respect for each other. So how should I stop this play fighting? I like him a lot and it’s been a short time in this relationship, so if he doesn’t stop, I know the best thing for me to do is leave.

To the above poster – If anything in a relationship makes you feel uncomfortable even if it is play fighting, let the person know to stop. And if they do NOT respect your boundary, then you know this is not a healthy relationship. Get out and find someone who will treat you right. You deserve it! ~Tara

When I was 3 years old my parents got divorced and me and my mom and 2 sisters moved out from the house and it was the greatest idea ever because I was tired that the only thing that I could hear in my house it was arguments between them . So I remember when I was 7 years old and I was playing with my friends playing outside it was around 6 pm and my friends dad offer me to give ride with him in a 4 wheel and it sound it fun so I accept and he told me to sit in front of him so I did and it was half way of the trip and I felt that he put his hand under my shirt and then he went under my pants and I felt so uncomfortable and I freak out and I got off and ran to my house and I did not told my mom instead I went and I locked my self in the restroom and the only thing that I could do its cry because I knew that it was my fault and I felt so ashamed of my self .And the years past and my mom received a call that my grandma was sick and that somebody had to take care of her and I was only 9 years old and I did not had a choice my mom had make me go with my grandma so when my grandma got better I was still staying with her and it was the 2nd year I was with her and she had an appointment with the doctor and I was staying with my aunt and with her family. I remember the day I was 10 years and I was alone with my aunts husband and I was standing up by the computer and it was about 11 am and I felt that he hug me from the back and he had his private part up and I felt that he putt it in my leg and start doing sexual movements like if he wanted to rape me and I got him away from me and I got really scared and I stared to remember about what happen to me wen I was 7 and I felt even worst and I did not told anyone almost for three years and I used to cry myself to sleep because of the shame and the emptiness and the anger towards me because I could not say something or do something to make him stop, so when I was 13 years old my big sister ask me that why every time that a stayed with her she always heard me cry and then I broke down in tears and told her the true and that I felt ashamed and really mad at myself I was feeling worthless. And that day I remember that we pray after we went to sleep And i’m thankful with god because he give me the best sister ever . And know that I was in the assembly of unbreak me it make me realize that I have a value and that theirs hope for me.

To the above poster – I am so glad that you realize how incredibly valuable you are and that you have an incredible future ahead of you! ~Tara

I was sexually abused when i was three and it kept going until i was about seven and it was a really close relative that did it and i kept in for so long that i have never been the real me. i have to hide my whole life and it’s hard to just forget about it when you see that person every once in awhile. it’s hard because i think about and i’m scared it’s gonna happen again because when i started dating i was very catious because of what happen and every guy i have dated except one has tried to sexually abuse me but that one wasn’t like that. i hope he can help but i’m scared to tell him because hes always been there and plus he loves me too much to hurt me. i just dont wanna think about how and why this happened anymore.

To the above poster – Please find a counselor or teacher or trusted family member and tell them your story. Before you tell your boyfriend, go to someone who will be there for you and help you through this and know how to handle it. A good place to start would be the confidential online help at www.rainn.org. You can work through this and come to a place where you don’t have to be overwhelmed by thinking about it all the time. Many girls think they will feel embarrassed or ashamed or put down if they talk about their experience, but just the opposite is true. When you find someone trusted to tell, you will actually feel so much better. ~Tara

Almost 2 years ago now, my exboyfriend raped me. I was at tae-kwon-do class one night, and I didn’t want to go home because I was upset. So I stayed after outside the building for a while. We were already broken up and he was with the girl that used to be my best friend. Well, he came over and he started to talk to me like I was crap saying things like “I know it was your fault that we broke up, but we can still be friends.” I wasn’t going to take it because at this point, he was just saying crude things, so I got up and started to walk away. As I was walking away, he grabbed my arm, looked at me and said “I’m not done talking to you.” I pulled away and started to walk away again, but he grabbed my arm once again and took me around the other corner of the building. He then proceeded to have his way with me. I told him no, I told him to stop, and he didn’t care at all. I was only 14, and I’m now 15 g oing on 16 in a couple months. I have only told a few people, but it took me months before I said anything. I didn’t know what to do, and I still don’t know what to do now. I feel like it was my fault because I didn’t have to stay after class that night. I could have went home, but I didn’t. I think about it all the time, and I don’t talk about it to anyone, which probably makes things worse, but I just don’t feel like people would want to listen.

To the above poster – It was not your fault. Period. Please find a school counselor or trusted relative to share your story so they can help you find hope. It is possible to come to a place where you don’t think about it all the time and you can move past it. Please talk to someone trusted and begin to heal! ~Tara

Well I have had a hard lifetime in only 18 years of living! My mom was in a abusive relationship with my dad he would throw her into walls and beat her after using her. My mom decided to leave with my sister and I with this stranger. My grandmother introduced him and my mom….. I was 4 years old but i remember it like it was yesterday I had a bad feeling about him i figured why on my 6 birthday! The day of my birthday he started touching me in inappropriate areas! He got my mom pregnant so she would stay around with us, they soon married after my baby sister was born. After my baby sister was born he started coming for me saying “you know your beautiful” “Come here and sit on Daddy’s lap.” He would make me bring him a beer sit on his lap while he raped me. He would grab my wrist making me put my hand in his pant touching him. One day my mom walked in while he made me touch him he threw the blankets on me then took my hand away from his area,then he asked me to leave. I grabbed a scrub brush and washed my hands until they bleed. I felt sick so sick that I stopped eating and talking. He started to push my family away that’s what caught my mother attention plus I was he shadow. I was different and she relied it. My mom sat me down when he got caught with ice I was 10 years old at this point. She asked me a bunch of questions like “Did he touch you on your cookie?” So i told her when it started and it got worst when he drugged her for 2 weeks straight! He went to jail for raping and my older sister. That changed me, I was angry at every guy I couldn’t stand them!
That was my past and I grew from that but I got into a relationship just like it. I date this guy J*** we dated for a year and half. We meet at church it was magical. When we first started dating it was normal until his anger issue started coming out. One time his phone broke so he asked to use mine then got mad because I had a lock for it. I unlocked it and handed it to him after he was done using it he threw it at my face busting my lip wide open. He would slap the hell out of me throw me around like a rag doll beat me and made me sleep with him. I thought it was love until he got me into a car wreck that changed my life! I could use the right side of my body and was told I could never walk again (I prove the doctors wrong and now i’m walking but if cold weather comes i have to use a cane..) it took me until he punched me in front of my mom to leave. but ….yea….. im still recovering over the bs in life but i’m steadily moving forward.

To the above poster – Wow! That is definitely a lot to overcome at a very young age so I want to commend you on having the courage to share your story. I hope you will realize that no matter how anyone has treated you in the past, you are truly a diamond and deserve to be respected and valued. I hope you will speak to a school counselor or a trusted adult to help you keep the right people in your life and walk through healing from your past. ~Tara

I don’t know if this counts, but when I was little, there was a boy my age who would force himself onto me, and inappropriately touch me, and threaten to do something to me if I told. Then, when I was slightly older, a family friend who was supposed to watch my brother and I would pull me aside and touch me inappropriately, and threaten me if I were to tell, and make me feel bad, and so I could never tell. Then, when I was 12 and 13, I was sad that no one loved me, but I was determined to wait until I was 16 to accept someone romantically. However, there was a boy who would constantly flirt, and eventually he lured me in with his words. I only knew him online, and we would chat constantly, and all he would talk about was inappropriate things, and I would never go against it because I didn’t want him to feel bad, because he always talked about wanting to die, and how awful his life was, and I just couldn’t make myself rebel again st him. He did this with other girls, and I knew, but he would always try to sweet talk me back to him, and he would almost always keep tabs on me, and make me seem awful.
I came here because it made me realize I might actually be a victim, but no one ever talks about it, and I just don’t know. You came to my school today, and I nearly cried because I was confused, and didn’t know if I need to talk or not, but I decided to share what happened to me. Thank you.

To the above poster – Thank you for opening up about your story. I hope you will go to your school counselor because if you are still in the relationship with the boy online, it is not healthy. He does not respect you nor value you. Please talk to someone trusted. ~Tara

I was Sexually abused from age 7-11 by my grandfather. Every single day that I was with him he always did stuff to me. I was even sexually assaulted by my step-brother, also in middle school by a “Friend”, and even this year by another guy in school. But now I’m being bothered sexually by two guys in class (They are even wearing the RESPECT bracelet y’all gave out.) I always feel like its my fault, I tell them no all the time. I’ve actually told all of them no but they just never stopped. I feel so embarrassed to talk about it, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why they come after me? I can never stop thinking about any of this. I’ve told my boyfriend about it and hes helping me through it but I feel like I’m bothering him to much about it. What can I do?

To the above poster – Please go to your school counselor IMMEDIATELY about the boys in your class. Their disrespectful behavior does not have to be tolerated and by bringing it to the attention of the school, you are potentially saving other girls from that kind of treatment. Also, please tell your counselor what happened to you as a child because it is something you need a trusted adult to help you work through to bring healing to your life. While it is good that you have a boyfriend that listens, boyfriends are not the best people to help you deal with these issues as they are neither prepared or experienced in giving advice to your situation. Also boyfriends can come and go at this age so it’s really important to find a trusted adult that will can stay in your life and help you. ~Tara

To be honest I am not sure how to start this but everything happen two year ago when I was in middle school. Their was this boy in my class who liked to touched me but not in the most appropriate ways I would tell him to stop but he would continue to do it. By the end of the year he was always telling me that why didn’t I have a good body that I was such a stick. He would often compare me to other girls in school and that really lowered my self esteem. I wanted to tell my mother but I was to afraid of what she would say to me and I wanted to tell my school counselors but I didn’t wanted the whole word to know what he was doing to me. By the time school already ended I was so glad I knew I wasn’t ever going to see him again because we where both going to different school and everything so I was glad.
But my problem now is that I can’t stand it when guy touch me, even if its my dad that is trying to give me a hug I usually push him away. I feel like I can’t trust any guy around me because I feel like they are going to do something to me. And being in high school right now isn’t making it easier for me every single day I find it a struggle to be around a guy. It comes to the point where just by sitting next to one makes me so uncomfortable.
I am a sophomore now and I feel like things aren’t getting better. Even though the guy who would touch me in middle school isn’t near me anymore. Their is this new guy in my class whose trying to the same thing to me. He usually tried to grab my arm and tries to make me touch his private parts but I always pull away from him. But what bothers me the most it that he does it in class and everyone is just there laughing or ignoring whats happening. But the thing I hate the most is that my teacher never seems to notice anything that happens to me in her class. I don’t know what else to do… I really want to tell someone but I don’t want my business to be out there.
I am always thinking that usually the reason why all of this is happening to me is because of my fault. I’m not the type of girl that is usually always hanging around with her friends and everything. I am the type of girl who sits on the back or front of the class quite and try not to be notice by anyone. Usually I blame myself for it because maybe if I wasn’t such a quite and shy person maybe they wouldn’t have taken advantage of me.
I need help… Please! I can’t take it anymore.

To the above poster – PLEASE TALK TO A COUNSELOR OR TEACHER IMMEDIATELY!!! It is never your fault if someone is taking advantage of you or touching you inappropriately. But, you do need help in dealing with the situation. You also need to talk to a counselor about your feelings of a man touching you – even innocently. While these are understandable feelings, you do not have to live with them for the rest of your life. You can learn to trust again and not be overwhelmed with those feelings. Please find a trusted adult or counselor to help you. You are so valuable and worth it! ~Tara

My parents divorced when i was in kindergarten. After a month of them being divorced my mom brings another man to the house. 2 years had passed and they had got together. One night he came into my room and starting rubbing on me.. ya know.. down there.. I didn’t really know how to react since i was only 8 or so.. I told him to stop and to wake my mom up who had fallen asleep on the couch but he didn’t, so i woke her up for him. They both went to bed and the next day he smiled at me like it never happened…
I have a boyfriend now, we’re about to be 11 months, i had told him about what my step dad did and he keeps telling me to get the cops involved.. which i really don’t want, but i also don’t want him to get away with what he did, but i still don’t want to see my mom in so much pain. i’m stuck here, it’s either give up my moms happiness or my happiness.. and it’s hard to decide.. i need advice.

To the above poster – It is very admirable that you are concerned for your mom’s happiness. However, I think your mom should hear the truth, even if it is hard at first. I understand how hard this may be for you so if it would be easier, please involve a counselor or another trusted adult. Please post again if you need additional advice. ~Tara

There’s this guy at my school an he is in several extra-curricular activities with me and I sit by him on th bus and on a few of these field-trips he would touch me in a way that made me uncomfortable and I didn’t know how to stop him and then he is texting me and he threatened to tell people I let him do those things to me unless I went ad walked army town with him on a date…….he doesn’t talk to me anymore. I don’t know who to tell about what he did only three people know him.

To the above poster – I am glad that he no longer talks to you but should you find yourself in that situation again, please speak to a trusted teacher or counselor immediately. You do not have to be subject to that kind of treatment from anyone, especially if it makes you feel pressured or uncomfortable. If you feel like you need to talk about what happened, then please see a counselor or trusted adult who can help you deal with your feelings regarding this incident. It is always ok to protect yourself and to insist that others treat you with respect, even if that means going to the those in authority. ~Tara

I remember that when I was at least 9 years old my dad would make my brother and sister watch a movie. He knew that they would fall asleep and I wouldn’t. He would wait for that moment. When my siblings would fall asleep he would tell me to go to his room, and I did what he said. He would lay on his bed and put me on top of him. I don’t quite remember what happened after this. But I also remember that I went to the restroom when he was there, but I didn’t think anybody was in the restroom because it was like 1 of the morning. Once I entered I saw him, so I turned around about to walk out the door. But he grabbed my arm, and he told me if I showed him my private part he would show me his. I just stood there, I was so naive. I didn’t do anything, I guess he felt bad, so he told me to go back to sleep, so I got out of the restroom. That is not all, I would have nightmares so I would go in my parents room and ask them if I coul d sleep with them, of course they would agree. I would lay between them facing my mom. I woke up like at 2 of the morning because I felt my dad’s penis on my behind, he had a boner. I didn’t think he would do that, like I said, I was so naive. I am now a cold hearted 16 year old. Sometimes I feel like I hate him. Sometimes I wish he would try and do something to me so that I can stand up to him. I don’t trust him at all, I can’t even hug him without thinking that he might try and do something to me. I told my sister, I was crying while telling her, and of course she didn’t believe me. Why would she think I was making this up? Why in the world would I lie about something like that. I don’t think she remembers me telling her. But it’s okay, it’s better of that way. I have cut myself several times, I know it sounds pathetic. But I would only do it when I would get really angry. I don’t do that anymore. I’m way past that. But what I am sure of is that deep down there is hatred towards my father. I don’t know if you actually read these stories, but if you do, please reply.. I have posted my story here seeking for advice or direction.

First, I want to encourage you to talk to someone in your family like your mom. Or please talk to a counselor or other trusted adult. Second, I am very glad to hear that you have stopped cutting yourself. If you feel that much pain, there are ways of coping with it that do not involve hurting yourself. Third, I completely understand that you may feel a great deal of hurt and hate towards what your dad did so it is so important that you find someone who can help you work through the emotions. I believe that forgiveness is necessary in order to be completely healed of past hurts. This does not mean you forget what happened or that you say it was ok, but it is letting go of the past hurt so that you can move forward. ~Tara

My story is mainly about physical abuse from my ex boyfriend. About 5 or 6 months into our relationship he started to push me around and hold me in once place at school, I told one of my teachers and she told me it was only going to get worse. I didn’t take her advice.. About 8 or 9 months into our relationship, my ex boyfriend came into my house without me knowing before school. I was the only one home and he took my phone and threw it. He said he wanted to talk, but I refused.. He eventually started to get really mad and he put me to the ground. He had scissors at my throat, a key to my throat, a pillow over my face to where I couldn’t breathe and he’s hands over my mouth. I cried and begged him to stop.. He didn’t. I told him everything he wanted to hear to cool things down. That next week I was in the girls bathroom texting my mom, he went into the girls bathroom, over the stall, and took my phone out of my hand.. I reported it to the school cop. Eventually I told them everything and now, he is in jail. I’m 16, and still have a whole life ahead of me.. Don’t be scared to tell someone about what’s going on.

Thank you so much for your post. And for having the courage to stand up for yourself. I hope other girls will read your story and be encouraged to talk to someone trusted. You have an amazing future in front of you! ~Tara

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